Unfortunately for the viewing public (which thanks to my laziness and Justin’s cruelty streak, now includes me), Pam is big star, which boggles the mind as a Barbie is actually capable of expressing more emotion. With the faux bosoms, spray-on tan, and bleached hair, she is such a freaking Barbie doll that if I ever were to watch her much-tauted sex-tape, I’m sure I’d be amazed to learn she was anatomically correct. Mike’s Review: Pam Anderson is some kind of genetic experiment to create some kind of life-sized, self-animated Barbie doll. Mike’s Rating: I apologize for the lateness of this review, I had to shower for two weeks after watching this. What’s her problem, really? Will the rebel group, who seek the restoration of the Starbucks chain, prevail? Will Barb PLEASE wash her face? Will I never watch this movie again? Barb spends a large portion of her time scowling, and her eyes frankly freak me out. Unless the first half of the movie was crafted with the help of Martin Scorsese, I’m pretty confident the entire film is a gigantic piece of lower intestine tract - wandering hopelessly through the dark and filled with crap.
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